Thankful For.....

Hello Turkies and Tofurkies!
Sorry have been radio silent, went back home for 10 days and have now spent a week just trying to get everything (mind, body, house, fridge, laundry) back in order. Wow. Going home....
Many of you may be doing that very thing this week. I wish you safety in your travels, no airport delays and no mental breakdowns. But know that if any of those things do happen...YOU will survive.
Going HOME can bring up so many physical, emotional, spiritual issues. I speak from experience. For some reason this trip home brought up A LOT of buried feelings and deep resentments and fears. I basically did not stop moving for 10 days, so all of that on top of zero personal time and not great sleep ended in a 5 hour crying jag. Which in hindsight was good. During, it sucked.
But instead of trying to "fix" it all and deal with it all right then and tie it into a pretty little package with a bow, I let myself be really freaking sad. A deep dark hidden sadness that I still can't quite explain.
I awoke the next day looking like a swollen kabuki doll (which are cute in their own right but not as my face). My mom suggested a cold rag and cold cucumber slices, which did wonders by the way.
We often try so hard to muscle through and "man up" to get through the holiday season but what IF this year....you let things run their course...? I mean tend to yourself, do all the things that make YOU feel good but then maybe try not to worry about great uncle Ben getting shit faced at the table or your overbearing aunt Martha who makes passive aggressive comments. Be the flow. Let all of THEIR issues and insecurities BE THEIRS, NOT YOURS. Afterall, we can only tend to our own gardens. It is up to others to tend to theirs (but don't think I don't have the al anon home page on my desktop right now!).
Instead try to focus on what YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR and bask in those happy thoughts. Show more love to the ones that make you the happiest. Treat yourself to something that makes you truly happy. Figure out what will grant you serenity during the trip home- a 30 min. walk by yourself, folding laundry with your mom, cooking and talking in the kitchen, yoga in the backyard, walking the dog, a trip to the gym, a quiet time to meditate or chant your prayers, a long hot salty bath, etc.
Also, taking home foods that make you feel good or special teas that you love, will help you feel settled. I always travel with a ton of packed snacks and tea bags because I feel safe and nurtured when I know that I have exactly what I want/need.
Eat what you need to eat the days before and after to feel good and not gross. And then let yourself truly enjoy the Holiday and indulge in the things that you want without guilt! You can get on track the next day. One day of eating extra rich and yummy foods will not kill you. You can always do a juice cleanse in the following weeks ;)
It is up to YOU to tend to your garden, to do what will make you feel love, so you can give love.
If situations do arise where you need to defend yourself, then speak your truth. Be brave, be fearless. But also know that people can and do change, but not according to your watch. And sometimes not ever.
You cannot save everyone, only yourself. Happy Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!!
BE SAFE, BE GRATEFUL, BE LOVE.

xoxox, McLean